Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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