kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize