i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
