My friends, they love my intelligence
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
