GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I could fuck to npr.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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