This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
only if we run a train.
done.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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