I just made out with a guy for $7.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
