His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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