I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
is it fun? or sober?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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