Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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