I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
