I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize