Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
