Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
