Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
