Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
