this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize