Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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