i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize