nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
ok first of all what the fuck
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
