Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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