naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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