lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
