why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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