You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
