but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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