and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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