i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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