Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
