I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
