love makes seman taste better
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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