I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
