I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
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