I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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