And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i was born a porn star she said
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i will never coherently bang her
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
