Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Randomize
