alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
