Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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