When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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