I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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