I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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