I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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