Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
