At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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