so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize