cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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