I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
