Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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