I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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