your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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