it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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