ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
