I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
