You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
