i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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