I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
