where am i from again
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
