i don't like sucking hair
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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