She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
