You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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