hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
