your thong is hanging out like whoa
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
