So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
