You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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