ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
