he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
ok first of all what the fuck
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
