I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize