dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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