i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
